Short Funny Quotes

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. – A.A. Milne, Winnie the PoohPeople say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

6 years ago
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. – Albert EinsteinTwo things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. – Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. – Albert Einstein

6 years ago
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. – Albert EinsteinIf A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. – Albert Einstein

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. – Albert Einstein

6 years ago
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. – Reba McEntireTo succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. – Reba McEntire

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. – Reba McEntire

6 years ago
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face. – AnonymousFriends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face. – Anonymous

Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face. – Anonymous

6 years ago
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. – Rita Mae BrownOne of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. – Rita Mae Brown

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. – Rita Mae Brown

6 years ago
If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you’re in Japan. – Claire CookIf plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you’re in Japan. – Claire Cook

If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you’re in Japan. – Claire Cook

6 years ago
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. – Dr. SeussToday was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. – Dr. Seuss

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. – Dr. Seuss

6 years ago
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. – Mark TwainIt is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. – Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. – Mark Twain

6 years ago
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles SchulzDon’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles Schulz

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles Schulz

6 years ago
Be careful how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back to you. – AnonymousBe careful how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back to you. – Anonymous

Be careful how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back to you. – Anonymous

6 years ago
The ability to speak several languages is a valuable asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. – AnonymousThe ability to speak several languages is a valuable asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. – Anonymous

The ability to speak several languages is a valuable asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. – Anonymous

6 years ago
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women. – Groucho MarxOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women. – Groucho Marx

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women. – Groucho Marx

6 years ago
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