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Funny Quotes
A. A. Milne
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
5 years ago
Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. – Albert Einstein
6 years ago
Albert Einstein
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. – Albert Einstein
6 years ago
Reba McEntire
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. – Reba McEntire
6 years ago
Anonymous
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face. – Anonymous
6 years ago
Rita Mae Brown
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. – Rita Mae Brown
6 years ago
Anonymous
Appreciate those who gossip about you, it’s not easy for someone to leave their problems and carry yours on their head. – Anonymous
6 years ago
Claire Cook
If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you’re in Japan. – Claire Cook
6 years ago
Anonymous
Be happy in front of people who don’t like you. It kills them. – Anonymous
6 years ago
Dr. Seuss
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. – Dr. Seuss
6 years ago
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. – Mark Twain
6 years ago
Charles M. Schulz
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. – Charles Schulz
6 years ago
Anonymous
When life shuts a door. Open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work. – Anonymous
6 years ago
Anonymous
Be careful how you treat people. What you do to others has a funny way of coming back to you. – Anonymous
6 years ago
Anonymous
The ability to speak several languages is a valuable asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. – Anonymous
6 years ago
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women. – Groucho Marx
6 years ago
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